Why Some Men Stay Single - The Psychology of Unmarried Bachelors | Relationship Insights & Dating Advice for Modern Singles
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Product Description
An increasing number of Americans marry late or never at all. Today there are more than 3 million men who are at least 40 years old and have never been married. Waehler examines the myths surrounding bachelors, and he shows that stereotypes about never-married men are largely simplistic and inaccurate. Just as it would be impossible to make reliable statements about all people who have chosen to marry, the bachelor caricature falls short of reality. In this book, Waehler describes bachelors' internal processes and interpersonal styles along a continuum with three specific bachelor types: Flexible, Entrenched, and Conflicted.Bachelors is the first and the only book to examine the inner workings of the bachelor mind. Waehler explores the psychology of never-married men and their choices, looking at similarities as well as differences. He looks at their conscious and unconscious psychological profiles, the experience within their families of origin, their relationships with women, their development through adulthood, and their beliefs about marriage. In the end, Waehler establishes patterns that lead to men maintaining their single status with varying degrees of satisfaction. He also provides practical advice on how to come to terms with various bachelor styles, or alternatively, how to successfully move from bachelorhood to marriage. Real life case studies are provided throughout, making this a book for the interested adult as well as researchers and other professionals.
Customer Reviews
Though I am not a life long bachelor, I probably should have been one. I am, to use the term coined by Dr. Bella DePaulo, single at heart. In quest to better understand why I wanted to remain single post amicable divorce I started to seek out information to counter all the pressure I was getting from folks to start dating and remarry. Dr. DePaulo's writings were excellent in this regard but a lot of the single focused literature is often more female focused than male focused (this is not an inherently a bad thing in fact there is much I learned from single women but still it is nice to have some data more specifically relevant to my situation).Five years ago this book was one of the few male focused books (the world has changed a lot in the last five years so there are more resources now). Anyway this book is very useful to a male who prefers to remain single. It will help you understand your feelings, how you interact with the world and the people around you and how you can potentially change your behaviors to make your single life better. This book is a valuable read and I am reading it again five years later and still learning things. If you can find it for a reasonable price, it is worth the price of admission.That said I have two critiques of this book. One it still tacitly subscribes to the notion common in society that somehow the single life is inherently less than the coupled life which I disagree with. There are many ways to live a fulfilling life and one path is not inherently superior to another. Two perhaps because of point one, he tends, in my opinion, to see the category of flexible bachelors as superior to conflicted and entrenched bachelors (though they don't marry this group does tend to couple up more than the other two categories). I can see the point with conflicted bachelors but so called entrenched bachelors seem perfectly happy with their lives generally speaking.
